Thursday, September 3, 2020

LIGHT - #16

 In the past, I did not see what was right in front of my eyes.

It was hard for me to see the light

I met a guy at a party and we eventually became good friends. In fact, not just a friend but he was an FWB, (Friend With Benefits.)

He taught me some very important lessons including the one he didn't realize. So he became a good mentor for me. He also looked out and protected me too. He became my Dom the way he was keeping me under his wing.

I was almost infatuated with him.

If he would have said run nude in the streets there is a good chance I might have done it. I trusted him almost implicitly. After all, he was there for me in the pool the very next day after we had met. He was comforting me when I was vulnerable and needed someone the most. It was then when I knew I could trust him because he promised he would help me because he felt that no one else would. That's mainly why he stepped in. He helped me when everyone else turned their backs on me.

Over the following months, he took the time with me and instilled in me a wide array of knowledge. With his supervision and guidance, I was slowly becoming a better person. I even wrote a few blogs that I poured my total thoughts and feelings into about him. He even helped me rewrite some of my material. He showed me better ways to communicate, better ways to convey my thoughts.

Even if I learned nothing else, he taught me that, "No one wants a needy bitch"

I almost started to fall in love with him, because he had a nurturing way he showed me other things while taking a lot of time and was very patient with me. However, he was poly and didn't want a BF. I'm glad he had the patience and foresight in my abilities.

It was close to a year when I finally saw the "LIGHT."

The LIGHT dawned on me!

I was no longer mesmerized by him.

He wasn't as perfect as I originally thought.
He had his flaws.
He wasn't exactly the cleanest sponge in the tub, that I have come across in my time.
He was manipulative.
He was a little pushy with his domineering personality.

While at one time I wanted to spend all the time I could with him and didn't want him to leave my side, it got to the point that I looked forward to him leaving at a certain point.

After I saw the light and finally observed him for what he really was, I was no longer in awe of him anymore.

I should sincerely thank him from the bottom of my heart for not allowing us to enter into a relationship. Because of that, he allowed me to find a truly special man in my life.

Now I see a new light in my heart, one that has never been lit ever before, because this time I found a truly special man. He loves me back while encouraging me to strive higher and become a much better person than I ever have before. He even wants me to continue my education to advance my knowledge to attain a better career. He is my new BF, or as he says,

"Husbands that perform good Husbandry."

I am very honored to finally have him in my life. An honorable man that does not have his own agenda with ulterior motives hidden down deep. I am elated to finally see the true light in my life, and in my heart. My heart is finally complete for the first time ever.

Now I am really in love this time.

Thanks "husband" for coming into my life and making me truly happy and complete for the first time in my life.

Wednesday, September 2, 2020

#14 - Laugh

 Do you feel like while everyone around you is laughing, 
you're not?

While everyone else laughs, I won't.

I'm at a party and everyone is laughing,
but on the inside, I am crying.

This is me, inside

On a mountain top, the other hikers are laughing,

but on the inside, I am hurt.

At a pool party, everyone is laughing,
But on the inside, I am disappointed.

On a ship, everyone is laughing, including me on the outside,
but on the inside I am frightened.

At a wedding, everyone is laughing, and having fun,
but on the inside, I am angry

At a BBQ, everyone is laughing, and having a great time together,
but on the inside, I am impassioned

Now, while at a concert, everyone is cheering and screaming,
But on the inside, I am finally laughing too, for I am in elation,
and no longer lonely.

I am finally happy and laugh with the world because,
You cry and you cry alone- when you laugh; the world laughs with you.

#marchwriting challenge

#5 - Rock

 When I think of rock, I don't think of some hard object sitting at my feet.

No, I think of my BF, who never leaves my side.
But always encourages me to strive higher, reach up to the stars
And suggests that I eat healthy
Joins me with protein shakes

The reason is obvious because He is the fixed fire sign.

Yes, a Leo without a doubt.

Fixed because He is always here for me
Fixed because He never leaves my side
Fixed because He sticks by me through the troublesome times.

Leo: The Creative, The Romantic, And The Hero

He is very bold in His approach to life and doesn't shy away from stepping up and taking the reins in a situation.
He is also very confident in His abilities to help me in my times of need.
He also gets angry if someone mistreats me.

When a rock is thought of, then we picture an enormous boulder that cannot be pushed, destroyed, or hurt in any way.
That's my Bae.

Don't make Him angry!

Rock on, my fantastic BF!
He is Rock solid when He doesn't sway in His attentiveness for me.
Yes, I think properly when I think of Rock, for we will be together forever!


Are you a self proclaimed HOTshot?

 Ok, everyone, it's about time for another blog from the ever famous CJ, me!

What did you say?
What do you mean I am not famous?
But I say I am famous so who are you to tell me any different? 
I mean, don't you do the same thing when you want me to call you master or sir?

Isn't that the way it works here?
A "sir" that I just met recently was speaking with me for less than two hours, told me to call him sir after I asked his name. 
I thought he was going to say,
"I am Ted or Todd",
but he wanted me to call him "sir".
Now, so I have a major problem in my understanding of this kinky lifestyle.
You want me to call you "sir" without any valid reason?
Just because you wake up one morning and say,
"From now on, everyone will call me, sir."
I have learned something from this lifestyle,
a Dom once told me,
"she is not just 'a' slave, she is 'my' slave." 
So, in fact, this meant that I couldn't use her for my use or command her to do anything for me. So I could not treat her like my property and expect her to listen to me.
Make sense? 
So why do you expect me to call you sir with no valid reason or provocation?
Let me give it to you straight,
if you want ME to call YOU sir, master, daddy, or anything, you must, (pay attention now),

Am I supposed to call you sir?
Earn that TITLE!
Am I supposed to call you dom?
Earn my RESPECT!
Am I supposed to call you master?
Earn my TRUST!
Am I supposed to call you daddy?
Earn my DEDICATION, then you will, in time, EARN my LOYALTY as well!
Then I would be more than happy to call you anything you want.
You don't just call a graduate student doctor, do you?
No, of course not.
She must go through years of schooling, take a multitude of proficiency exams, and attain an advanced degree first, called a doctorate degree, then she needs to go through a residency and only then can she expect you to call her "Doctor"
You don't mind if I ask what you went through to be a "sir", do you?
Ok, I made my point.
I will also add that he was 2 decades younger than me, so I just can't wrap my head around calling someone that much younger than me, sir.

It's like if a 10-year-old walked up to you and told you to call him, Mr. soandso.
Wouldnt you fall backward from laughing so hard?
Or if a student tells their teacher to call him, Mr. Jackson, and then calls the teacher by their first name, same thing.
I will say this though, if I am in a scene with you while in the heat of the moment and I am taking the sub role, then I can see calling you your self proclaimed title because that would be proper to do that.
I have called someone daddy before, but again it was because I respected him.
Because, he EARNED IT!
So it just felt natural.
So if you want me to call you something, you know what to do now.

Tuesday, September 1, 2020

Fate OR Destiny? You choose!

 How I bumped into a great mentor unexpectedly.

After conversing with my new buddy, I now know his side of the story and our inevitable meeting and creating "history", together.

His version of what led up to our positive life-changing event:

I didn't know anyone at the party and "literally bought the game on the way to the party". I purchased blindfolded twister and put a spin on it. 

It was to be a nude version. 

I got there and everyone was at a "high school dance". The reason was that most everyone was shy and standing or sitting around, not doing or saying much. I asked this guy, Shawn if he could help me with the game. He then put the blindfolds together and now we needed volunteers. There was a single guy I saw who was already in uniform,

yes....fully nude!

I went over to ask him if he wanted to play, and he was very enthusiastic about the opportunity to partake in the fun I had planned. Since he had the utmost confidence in himself, I went nude too after he asked me to join him. We both were the only ones nude at the party after this point. We both played the game, and he won after we both had tons of fun!

Now for my version and our "choice" or "chance" meeting:

I am a "newdist," because I am new to being nude. Been newd, since July '18. 

I had gone to the party with a friend who did the bartending. It relieved me I had gotten to the party, as I almost didn't get the top-secret address.

I had reached out to the hostess for the address, but since I had cricket phone service, I could not receive the information by text message. I sent a long text to the hostess asking her again once more for the address, and much to my relief I ended up getting it, even though the address changed at the last minute.
I got there early to volunteer, and she had my friend do his task first. Right after I got into the house, I made sure that showing the male anatomy was permitted. 

I was fully nude from before the start of the party to the very end, while I sat by myself on the couch until people started filing in.
The party was going well, and I saw my old friend Shawn and said hi to him. We spoke for a little while, then he went into the living room to help a guy put some kind of game together.
The guy asked him to help him set it up and put together the game. They were waiting until after another scene finished. He came over to me and asked me to join him and play the game of nude twister.

"Let's show them how it's done" he quipped to me.

That was essentially how we met.


If I had not been nude, he would not have noticed me.
If I had not gotten to the party, no meeting would have occurred.
If he never got the game, he would not have asked me to play.
So you decide— fate, destiny, or just plain good old psychic ability?

Interesting side note:

He claims to be a psychic.
Would he have known the outcome of this whole scenario beforehand?