Thursday, April 9, 2020

Bisexuals love you BOTH!

What does bisexual mean to you?

Some claim it to mean rejected by both.


Let us scrutinize this theory:

We, bisexuals, are very friendly and interesting people. We are very respectful of your sexuality and your natural attractions to each other.

Is there any reason you can't accept ours?

I came across two profiles on another site that were discriminatory against us bisexuals. I am always perplexed because we bisexuals love you all.

One profile that I saw was actually from a bisexual woman!

Yes, we love both of you!

Most people only love half of the population of the world. Gays love one half & straights love the other half. 

We love the entire population!


We, bisexuals, face twice the discrimination as our gay peers, she tells us, as she references two studies from the Journal of Bisexuality.

This really makes me feel like we don't belong in any society. I would love to get a better understanding of the way some individuals think of us. We are so loving of all of you, yet some of you seem to hate us in return. Allen proves my point, "the discrimination we face within the LGBT community is as real as discrimination we face outside of it". I just don't understand why you can't accept us for who we are.

Aren't we all supposed to be loving and accepting of each other for our differences?

If you are bisexual, then tell me what you think. Allen tells about 745 people surveyed & found that the bi-phobia experienced from the homo segment was disturbingly comparable to what they had experienced from the hetero side. "Bisexual people experience monosexism, the privileging of sexual attraction to one sex or gender, from heterosexual, gay, and lesbian communities", the study concluded. 

Because of all this monosexism, 
"bisexual men are 6.3 times more likely to consider death by suicide than straight men." 

AND

"Bisexual women are 5.9 times more likely to consider death by suicide than straight women."

Am I making too much out of this?

Well, let me enlighten you about my experience. 

When I went to get "sex tips for straight women from a gay man" in Paris, 

the gay man asked who in the audience was gay.

Then he asked about the straights.

Guess who he didn't even consider.

Bi is Best!

That's right, us bisexuals!

This is the phenomenon known as bi-erasure. So again he found us to be invisible.

I would like to know what some of you may think so I can better understand how you think we are so abnormal.

If I were to say that I do not like or accept a particular race or group, say if I called transgender people, freaks, would I be correct or accepting?

No way!

Everyone would look at me as a racist or bigot. But if there are those who hate us, we are just supposed to be impervious to the hatred from both communities.

One narrow-minded, ignorant homosexual actually told me I had to choose.

"You can't be bi, just choose one." 
He said.

Can you believe that?

I can't love both, but I have to choose one?

Okay, if I must choose, my choice is BOTH! 
But I thought our sexuality was not a choice. It's just who we are naturally from birth.

Are you actually going to tell me you chose your sexuality in your life?

Obviously not! Your sexuality is NOT a choice, it's just who you are!

How would you feel if I told you that you must love BOTH?

After all, 

Bi is BOTH
Bi is BEAUTIFUL
AND
Bi is BEST!

Can you choose to love tomatoes 1 day then hate them the next?

Of course not, so you must see my point, right?

To add salt to the wound, I am in the worst-case scenario, a BISEXUAL man.

Case in point, we "bisexual men have been portrayed—even within the LGBT community—as secretly gay, sexually confused vectors of disease." Allen suggests in her other article "why bisexual men are still fighting to convince us they exist."

Is there any reason to believe that is not everyone's belief by now?

We need to be aggressive in our efforts to dispel these unwarranted beliefs. Unfortunately, people barely see us, bi guys, as human, when they persevere in their falsehoods.

We, "BISEXUAL men, have our very own existence questioned more often", Allen states. I have heard that some of you even think we are in the closet or want to remain "half normal".

Why do people view bisexuality among women as somehow more socially acceptable?

One theory is that we guys may find it more appealing to get more than one gal in bed. But for us guys, there is always a double standard.

Do you see us bi guys as weak, unmanly?

Before you answer, maybe you should ask the women first. 
In an article, it stated that women see us, bi guys, as better fathers, lovers, and husbands.

After you are done with that article, then you may want to get Jessica Pan's declaration in her article, 
What It's Really Like for Women to Date Bisexual Men when she asserts that "After being with a bisexual man, I would never go back to being with a heterosexual man in a relationship."
In her article, she also states that "Women reported that their bisexual male partners would want [them] to explore and have fun sexually—to be open to BDSM, or having another partner outside the relationship." 

So on the off chance that you define a man's manliness based on the women he gets, then we bi guys are just as manly as the "macho" men out there. 
Also, we are much more open to pleasing our gals by our willingness to do much more in bed for her. So the next time you may feel that we bi guys are more feminine in some way, just remember that we don't worry about what society views us as, 

we do what we enjoy! 
Hands down!
while we also put our partner's needs first.

Because of the stigma, we BISEXUALS have some of the worst mental illnesses and negative effects in the LGBT community, including suicide, per Allen.

Lois Shearing also indicates this in her article Are you doing your bit for 20biteen? when she states,

"Mental health is another area where bisexual people fare worse than our gay and straight peers. In late 2018, UK LGBT advocacy charity Stonewall released a new study showing that 28% of bi women and 18% of bi men had deliberated self-harm in the last year, compared to 14% of lesbians and 8% of gay men."

That is very disturbing. 

Also, always remember that you are never the only one that is BISEXUAL. 
There are many more of us. Freud even stated that we are ALL innately BISEXUAL. We, then, branch out to the other two orientations.

Keep in mind that there is sexual energy among both of us, guys and gals. Each of us has a great aura about ourselves. Each gender is beautiful, for both the male and female anatomy has its own inherent beauty.

I, myself, love each gender for different reasons.

Why do some of you feel that we are so abnormal for loving both?

And how can we be a part of your life if you don't even give us that chance in the first place?

It's because you think we can't be monogamous. Such preconceived notions make it impossible for us to even find a partner which creates yet another reason we face such impossible odds in our lives.

Madeleine Holden, in her article The women who go wild for bisexual guys, proves my point that most of you believe we are greedy or can't stay loyal,

"Both are more likely to experience anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts than straight and gay people, a phenomenon attributed to the “double discrimination” that comes with being not quite welcome in either the straight or gay communities. Similarly, straight, lesbian and gay individuals are generally less willing to be in a relationship with bi people, leading to a kind of paradox: Bisexuality is viewed as a hedonistic, choice-fuelled, all-you-can-eat sexuality, but bisexual people are left feeling like they’re not really wanted by anyone." Holden states.

These types of judgmental people just make no sense to me. We love you BOTH, yet both reject us. So the theory "rejected by BOTH" may be true.

What are we bisexuals to do, to convince you that we are worth loving?

One last thing I want to add is what my best friend has to say about how she feels about our bisexual dilemma. 

She states,

"It's not as though I would never fool around with a bisexual man. I'm just saying that if I were to actually feel it necessary to go online to look for a partner, I wouldn't want to be with a bisexual man. Because I'm straight, I feel that it would just be leading myself into trouble. It wouldn't be fair to ask a person that is attracted to men as well as women, to not be able to be with men as well. I believe in a monogamous marriage, so I feel that I would prefer to be with someone that could at least be with just one side or the other. Not as if I'm saying that a straight guy wouldn't want to stray to other women, but I feel it is fairer that a bisexual is able to be in a relationship with another that likes the same thing. Openness might be a bit easier."

So there you have it, I thank her for her honesty while she proves the "rejected by both" scenario.

I, however, feel that if we are ever to have a meaningful relationship with anyone, that being dishonest about who we truly are, might be the only option. 

Therein lies the dilemma. 
The very dilemma which pushes people away from us.

Be truthful and possibly never have a relationship because they may reject us?

OR

Lie about who we really are and thus not have an honest or meaningful relationship with anyone.

It is really a dam shame that it ostracizes us for our particular preferences since we can not help our natural attraction toward others.

The ultimate declaration that I want to convey is that I am very proud to be bi, but I am not pan-sexual and that I am not attracted to every single person in the world. I am attracted to cisgender men and women only.

I, in no way, agree with Robin Ochs, in her opinion, that there are more than two genders (or sexes). If you care to dispute me, then reveal a 3rd or 4th set of genitalia to me.

So I ask you all, monosexuals, please enlighten me to your way of thinking,

AND

fellow bisexuals, please tell me if you agree with our particular dilemma in which we are unfortunately in because we love "both".



Love you both,

Christopher "CJ" Jeremiah

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